Remember when Peds were just shoes?…

I liked Dave Letterman’s admission that he took “performance enhancing vodka” during his prior years with NBC on Late Night…




When I first saw Roy Oswalt’s critical comments of Alex Rodriguez this morning on ESPN, I couldn’t help but wonder if Oswalt had said anything about his buddies, former Astros pitchers Andy Pettitte and Roger Clemens.  To his credit, he did include those guys when he made his critical statements about PED users. 


big league chew



However, he is taking the softer “innocent until proven guilty” approach with Clemens, and indicated that he doesn’t have anything against the admitted users.  However, he stated “Only the guys that have been proven guilty, their numbers shouldn’t count…I love Andy Pettitte and Roger Clemens just like brothers.  I’ve played with them for three years.  They’re great teammates and I would love to have them on my team this year, but the way I feel I feel like they cheated me out of the game just because of the way they enhanced themselves but I’ve done it by working out”. 


Oswalt is a proponent of two record books.  One book for “clean” players and separate book for the admitted and proven steroids users.


“Now with the testing we have in place, there’s no way you can get around it,” Oswalt said.  “I think in the last two years or three years the game’s been clean, real clean.  It’s probably one of the cleanest sports out there.  There’s really no way to beat the tests with what’s in place now.”




With a little modification, these old lawyer jokes can become very timely:


Q:  What’s the difference between a dead dog and a dead A-Rod in the road?

A:  There are skid marks in front of the dog.


Q:  What do you have when A-Rod is buried up to his neck in sand?

A:  Not enough sand.


Q:  How can you tell when A-Rod is lying?

A:  His lips are moving.


Q:  Why did God make snakes just before making A-Rod?

A:  To practice.


Q:   What’s the difference between A-Rod and a bucket of pond scum?

A:  The bucket.


These pretty much sum up the gist and tone of the articles I’ve been reading about A-Rod lately…





Bobby Abreu to the Angels on a one year deal.  Money-wise it was a fair deal for the Angels, but hopefully, they’ll be able to DH him more often than not given his defensive shortcomings at this stage of his career.


Kevin Millar continues his circuit of the AL East by signing with the Toronto Blue Jays.  I suppose that this means he will be with Tampa or New York next year…


Frank Viola to the Cleveland Indians as spring training pitching instructor.  It’s good to see Frank’s name again.  He was a teammate of Cleveland manager Eric Wedge in 1992 while they were with the Red Sox.  Hey Frank, good luck with the American Idle (i.e., Carl Pavano)…


Adam Dunn to the Nationals on a two year deal.  So much for Dunn’s plans to play for a contender.  I do feel bad for Nick Johnson.  He had so much promise when he came up with the Yankees, but injuries have robbed him of a good career and now he has no position to play…


I am pulling for a return to Seattle by Ken Griffey, Jr.  It would be nice to see him end it where he started.  By the way, can you take A-Rod with you?  Just kidding!



Of the Yankee players who have shown up in Tampa early, I was pleased to see that the list included Nick Swisher.  I remain hopeful that the Yankees either trade Xavier Nady, or simply keep both Nady and Swisher.  I keep hearing that the Braves are interested in Swisher, but I’d rather keep him on the roster to see if he can rebound from last year’s White Sox disaster.


Yankees pitchers and catchers report to camp TOMORROW!  Bring it on!  J



One comment

  1. juliasrants

    LOVE the jokes! But you knew I would! And I will admit to using performance enhancing chocolate. You’ve got to love Millar; he will shake up any clubhouse that he is in. Have you seen Sean Casey yet on MLB Networks? The man is a riot!


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